Understanding Your origin

"This isn't just life coaching. Erin reads your soul blueprint and translates it into action."

 Erin Celise (Erin Celise Smilkstein) is a transformational coach, spiritual teacher, and the author of the visionary novel Aligned — a work blending spiritual fiction with personal growth, intuitive living, and emotional healing. Erin is an Advanced Soul Realignment Practitioner and certified coach working with clients internationally.

Awareness Reading

20-30 mins - $36

Explore your Soul's Origin and Energy Centers. Gain insights into your spiritual gifts and evolutionary journey. For the curious who are not quite ready to hear the whole story.

https://joysoulliving.com/

Enhance your wellness. Enrich your life.
Phone:: 1 (630) 297-2867   Email: erin@thesoulsleadership.com

 Be Heard, Empower Yourself—the podcast where your voice matters, your story has power, and your journey is just beginning. I'm your host, and together we're diving into real conversations, bold insights, and transformative ideas that uplift, inspire, and ignite change. This is your space to rise, speak your truth, and step fully into the life you were meant to lead. So let’s break barriers, build confidence, and become unstoppable—because when you’re heard, you’re empowered.

Books by Mimi Tallo on Amazon and Audible
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https://www.amazon.com/author/unearthingmyirishroots 

https://www.amazon.com/author/anatomyofanalien

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·        ...

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Hi everybody, it's Mimi from Be Heard, Empower Yourself, and I'm excited to be here because I have my my favorite, I call her my co-host, Erin Silise. Hi, Erin.

SPEAKER_00 0:15

Hi, Mimi. How are you?

SPEAKER_01 0:17

I'm frantic as usual, but handling it well. So anyway, we have done quite a few episodes on spirit guides. And um just to update a little bit, recap for people that may not have seen all those um episodes. Um what are spirit guides? Spirit guides sometimes are described as companions to the soul, walking you through incarnations and the spaces in between. Now, everybody doesn't believe in incarnation, however, every religion has some sort of belief or story about a guide. Catholics call them guardian angels, you know. So it is quite common uh concept, okay. And Aaron, um what would you call yourself? Not a soul guide. What's your title?

SPEAKER_00 1:25

Yeah, what I I keep trying to fall on the right name. I had a conversation about this. Like, oh yeah, you call yourself a psychic. I'm like, no, not really. It's not like that, it's not telling the future, talking to dead people. Although I will tell you an interesting thing about that.

SPEAKER_03 1:40

Um can't wait.

SPEAKER_00 1:41

But it's more like a soul guide, uh, interpreter, translator. Like, here's what's going on in the soul world, here's what's here's what's showing up. Let me put it into words for you. So, you know, a sort of a conduit, but like, yeah, I can take the messages that are coming through for you and turn them into English. Yeah. And uh that way you can understand them too, and then help you interpret. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

And you know, sometimes people will say, Oh, I I have intuition. But your that intuition could be your soul guide talking to you. That's your into intuition. Um, it can be interpreted in a lot of ways. So we've been talking about that, and we we did mine, and um Aaron just needs your birthday, where you were born, and your time of birth, right?

SPEAKER_00 2:40

Yeah, sometimes I don't even need that. Like I started doing them at live events, and the last one I did, I just decided not have somebody sit down for 20 minutes and we talk. I just said um five-minute message guide. And the person was in front of me, they gave me their name. Sometimes they gave me their birth date, sometimes they didn't want to, and then a message would come through.

SPEAKER_01 3:02

Really?

SPEAKER_00 3:03

Yeah, that was really fun. So it was kind of fun, like this just little boom. Let me just give you a little piece if you want to go deeper. Yeah, so it's like it's connecting to your Akashic records, and that's why having that information just to make sure that I feel confident I have the right person. Yeah, I'm not you know, reading someone else.

SPEAKER_01 3:23

Yeah, that'd be interesting that that can happen, but that's because they know you. I think not the person, the soul, the spirit um guide. So this is the thing. Anybody can go back and look. We have stuff on Akashic Records and all kinds of stuff that I never even knew about 20 years ago. So I'm like learning just like anybody else. And um Erin did mine, and it was quite interesting. And um, I have six, and I know their names, which is she told me unusual that they would tell me their names, and they have given me specific um evidence that they're here, specific, okay, and things that you cannot deny, and um so I want to after the show, I'll talk to you more, Aaron, but I want to um think about uh contacting them one-on-one without which I know you said is possible, yes, yeah, because I really I'm I'm into this now. So today, though, the part we're gonna talk about is okay, we have these key connections. We just talked about that. And they're here, I believe, a lot of religions believe, maybe to nudge you toward experiences that are gonna help you grow and be a better person, or they create uh coincidences that really aren't coincidence, but that places you on your path. So, like I believe personally that everybody has a mission and has a purpose in life. Everybody doesn't necessarily believe that, I do. Um, so today let's explore that idea. So I'll start with a question for Aaron. Um, what does understanding where your soul comes from matter so much to people? Why does it matter? Well, like the soul, like to some people if they want to know like what I have soul, where did it come from? Is there a god? Is there you know what what is this?

SPEAKER_00 5:52

There I mean there is a god. I do not define that. I well, that term to me is much broader in that it is the word that we give for that force of things we can't explain.

SPEAKER_01 6:08

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 6:09

So it doesn't, yes, and then and then people thousands of years ago took it and put it into a book, their own book, whichever book you want to read in whichever language, and said this is how it is. Um, maybe, maybe not, but even in a broader sense, I mean, I have done readings for people who are devout Catholics, um, Christians, you know, non-denominational, speak different languages from different countries, Jewish. And if you can be open to this, it still fits within your religious belief system because we all come in and we have souls. So the reason I think that it's really helpful to know where your soul comes from and like what your divine gifts are, and kind of the foundation of how you came into this existence is that it gives you a frame for understanding yourself and what alignment's gonna look like and what it doesn't look like. Yeah, and that can be different for people. So, you know, my simplest example is um for some people, going into the store and buying one apple is like exactly in alignment, but for somebody else, buying one apple is out of alignment because they maybe were supposed to get three, like you know, yeah, that's a silly analogy, but there might be something that looks like an action for the same person or two different people that does completely different things. And it's like if you know what that is, you're not gonna be like, Oh, I bought the one apple, and you walk out and things are still looking not great. You can be like, Okay, I understand what I was supposed to do or what I need to do, yeah, what alignment looks like, what those choices going towards like positive alignment and and filling myself with abundance versus it's gonna look different from somebody else. So the foundation's really helpful. And then when you understand yourself, and you know, as I do this for more people, it helps me understand other people, yeah. And you know, kind of seeing like this the simplest phrase is why does this always happen to me? And for a lot of people, like that's basically your spirit guides and your um experience right now happening to you, and it could be the bad, it could be good. Some people, my dad, he just wins stuff, like Google get a scratcher ticket and he'll win, you know.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

People like that, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

In in the city um raffle, he bought like two tickets and won the Jeep, you know. He's that guy, so he just wins stuff, and I want to be that, but I'm not quite so that's not your gift. And so, like, the why does it always happen to me for some people? It's just like everything just seems to work out, but for some other people, yeah, they just keep going, oh, the same thing, the same relationship, you know, the same kind of people.

SPEAKER_01 8:57

And they're not changing, they're not changing anymore.

SPEAKER_00 9:00

Yeah, but if you start to see that, you can start to see what the lessons are within that, yeah. And it helps you change your perspective to understand why you keep getting these things, yeah, and how to get out of the loop. Like it's it's a loop, that's what I call it. Your cosmic, your loop, and you keep you keep looping it, and it happens again and again. And unfortunately, you've probably done this, you know, 20 times in past lives. And if you don't learn it this time, you're going to do it again, and it's gonna look different, but it could be different people, it could be different relationships, but you'll do it again. Yeah, um, I was there. Like I have a very specific example that just came up with somebody, but she keeps feeling like it's always her and trying to keep people accountable. And I'm like, okay, not to get too woo on you, but that's your lesson. Like, and I didn't, I've haven't done her reading. Maybe in the past she hasn't been accountable. So this time around, she's the person that feels like she has to keep everybody else, but it keeps getting her in trouble. Like, was she know her? She wants people to be accountable for what they do, and then the people that come into her life can't do it, like they get mad at her and blame her and you know, get defensive, and it's the same thing, but it was her ex-husband, it was you know her brother. Now it's a co-worker, then it's her boss. Yeah, like and I'm like, you realize this is the same energy, there's something else going on, and maybe it's that she's supposed to teach these people lessons. I don't know, but like it's very clearly a why is this always happening to me?

SPEAKER_01 10:38

Yeah, and you know, the people that she's doing this for, yeah, may take it as criticism. Absolutely, they do.

SPEAKER_00 10:47

Yeah, they don't understand why they came into it.

SPEAKER_01 10:50

So I didn't ask you for this advice, and you're I feel like you're criticizing me or being judgmental. So of course you're gonna get mad at her. I understand that.

SPEAKER_00 10:59

And so she feels like people are mad at her all the time, and um, you know, go, well, let's look at this differently. Like they keep coming into your life, and something has to change, or you're still going to get these same kind of people coming in where you're expecting accountability and they can't do it. And now there's this wall and it's friction creating, and then you think, is it me? I mean, yes, it is, but not in like this terrible way where you're not a good person, you know.

SPEAKER_01 11:26

But no, is it your energy? It's your energy. Um, I was in a loop for about 20 years, and uh I didn't know who I was, and my identity was formed by my parents, and um, I went out into the world not knowing a thing, and uh made very poor decisions with men who then uh decided to tell me who I was and my identity was. And this is a story for a lot of women, and I say women, I'm not saying it never happens to men, but it's more women, because we've already been always been treated as less than you know, woman, you know, they didn't have you can go back in the Bible, you can go back decades of history, whatever. The man, it was always about the man. There's a few very brave women that broke through that, I will say, but I went into that idea of being uh less than, and I don't think that it was even conscious, it was an unconscious thing, you know, and uh until I broke free of that pattern, and my pattern was to self-medicate because I was picking these abusive, terrible men, it's a whole, or I'd find a nice guy, but um he didn't want to commit, you know, he I had two children, he didn't like children, so I was just not doing well in relationships, let's put it that way, which affected everything else. It affected it affected my financial stability, you know, it it affected my educational uh goals, it put them off for years and all these things. And so for me, uh my spirits could not get through to me because I was drinking alcohol, so I was not in an aware, open psychic stage, let's call it. And uh so when I got sober, it still took me years, and like you said, to believe it was me. Everything bad was me. I made the wrong decisions, uh, this, that, and the other thing. So I went into the counseling cycle, you know, for years and 12-step and all that stuff, which nothing wrong with that, and it was good, and it helped me become more of who I was supposed to be. But it is only about um maybe 15 years, maybe more, that I went outside of the dimension that most of us stay in. And you know what I'm talking about. And um doing the podcast had to do with not going crazy during COVID and having something, and I really I really found my thing because um it was like a natural gift, and I want to talk about that because we do have gifts, and sometimes we don't know what those gifts are, and we don't explore to see what they are. This fell into my lap that I would never have thought to do this, you know, or write, and I ended up writing four books, so it was like, oh my god, all these years that I don't want to say wasted, I mean I did have two beautiful children, but all these years, you know, I could have been on a different path, but that's neither here nor there. So we struggle with our identity, that's what I'm getting at. And how can finding out our soul origin help with that?

SPEAKER_00 15:27

Yeah, it gives you a place to ground to to you know name. I think um just as people, we love categories. We do, we like to put things into boxes and categories and understand them. And if you know, it's it's this funny thing. So, like, yes, everybody is unique, but um there are ways that we can say I can name this these things about you, you know, and those are really helpful because then you go, oh, I get it. Like that's that kind of explains why I'm always so sensitive, or you know, why I can feel this about people, or you know, why I'm so drawn to being outside. Like, and it and like you said, like I always call them the gifts, but it's never anything that we consider gifts, you know, because it just comes easy to us. So yeah, um, other people have other gifts and they never consider them gifts, or like, well, that's just so easy to do, it's just how you do it, so obvious, but it's not obvious to other people. No, yeah, like divine wisdom is one of mine, and people are always like, How why did you just say that? Like, how'd you come up with that? I'm like, I don't know, just words come and I say them, but it's not something that everybody does. So to me, it's just my brain is weird, and it just comes up with stuff. You you embraced your gift. Well, you know, yeah, once you can name it, you're like, okay, that is not just just random, like you could have pushed that away.

SPEAKER_01 17:05

I could have. Some people would say, Oh my god, I'm there's I'm mentally ill, there's something wrong with me because I'm hearing voices or whatever. No, no, and and again, I always bring up a course in miracles because that book, which is a very highly acclaimed book, um, was written by an atheist. And she said one day she just started to write, and the words were not coming from her. They were coming from, she would say, God or you know, Jesus or us uh, you know, a spiritual Christian type person. But anyway, she wrote this book that is quoted all the time. They have classes on it, and she didn't even believe in God, and you know, it's a very religious spiritual boy. So I think of that all the time. Like, you know, how did that happen? Her spirit guides, they knew she was capable, and she was a writer, so they knew she was capable of doing it, and they went through her, and they knew the world needed this book, okay. And that's different from the Bible, because the Bible was written by more than one person, and I don't even want to get into that, but my minister always says that there's some passages that he knows a woman wrote in, but they didn't give her credit. So once you do, if you're lucky enough to discover your gifts or your talents, then that leads you to purpose. Because if you have a, and I was just saying that if if you have a special gift or talent, then you should use that. You should realize you must have a purpose. Am I on the right track with that thinking?

SPEAKER_00 19:03

Yeah, yeah. Um, yeah, big kind of another word is worthiness. Um like I don't this one is interesting because I did get this um big message that I kind of ignored for a while and then I went back to, but it was that worthiness is the lens, not the obstacle. Meaning we try to go through life and say, Well, I I get this thing because I'm worthy. And then you try to convince yourself you're worthy to have it. You know, like the obstacle is getting to the point of believing you're worthy, and then you go to therapy and you're there, and you know, you do your mantras and you but it's the lens, like you have to shift it where you just have to know you are already worthy, you already have a purpose, right? Um, and you might not like your purpose, like that might be another thing. Um, but if you know what your purpose is and you can be like, wow, I understand it. I think that gives you this really beautiful clarity and peace. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, okay, my purpose is some people's purpose is to come into this world and be in really hard situations. Like that is a trait of a soul group is to come into this world and be an addict, like be in poverty, and that's awful. It feels awful, but like there's there's this getting out of it part too. So um, not that you know everybody has to write a book and like I was like this and now I'm not, but yeah, it it feels weird to say because I know people push back, like, well, that's terrible. But if we all come in and have a purpose, you can use that purpose to better yourself in this experience because you're going to have more experiences. What are you gonna bring into that next experience? Are you going to have are you gonna be better? Like, did you learn what you need to now? Or are you gonna do it again and again and again?

SPEAKER_01 21:04

Right, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

You have the chance right now, and once you're aware of that, you can make the choices to learn the lesson to be better, to do something different next time. Yeah, and then it's it's like empowering and scary at the same time.

SPEAKER_01 21:20

It is, it's very scary, and many of the episodes on the show are about just that. Empower yourself, so you have to, yeah, okay. So I had an abusive marriage too, and I had uh, I didn't think it was a drinking problem, but it was. I just thought, you know, it would calm myself down or whatever. But I was self medicating, depression and anxiety, but all of those things I owned, I was in the business. I owned two bars, and many of almost all my friends were my customers, and almost all my Customers are alcoholics. And I can say that because they came into the bar every day. And every day they had more than three drinks. Well, you're probably an alcoholic. Okay. And um many of them are dead. Many of them died during the past 30 years. Younger than me, uh, died when they were in their 20s or their 30s based on addictions, you know, overdoses or alcohol takes a toll on the body. That's yeah, unbelievable. Um, one of my ex-husbands died from um cirrhosis of the liver and died a painful death. So these are I know, I know addicts. And the fact that I was put in the spot that I was in to be around them and to become one of them, because I didn't I didn't start drinking until I was in my 20s. It wasn't something, you know, that I wanted to do. My father was an alcoholic, I didn't want to drink. Um, but it was there for a reason. And when I got sober, a lot, some of those people got sober and didn't die, you know. But I didn't know anything while it was happening because I wasn't ready. And I think that's another thing we could talk about too, is readiness.

SPEAKER_00 23:36

Yeah, and that whole thing you said earlier, like I wasted time and I I caught onto that. I'm like, oof, no, we can't do that. Um, it's so easy to get caught. Why didn't I do this sooner? Of yeah, there's a lot, you know. I think of my 20s, I'm like, there, why didn't I do this in my 20s? So now that I'm older, that things were set. Like, there's things I'll tell my kids they should probably do or not do, you know. But I don't know. It was like I wasn't ready for those lessons. And if if you get to the place where you are now able to see it and do it, then you've done what you needed to, and you give yourself grace. Like, yes, it took me longer. You know, boy, I sure wish I had traveled the entire world and 30s, but I didn't. So maybe I'm gonna be one of those old ladies traveling in my 70s. Like my one of those annoying old ladies in all the places because that's when my lesson happened.

SPEAKER_01 24:36

But I, you know, I say to myself when I get in that um that loop of I should have, what I should have done, I should on myself, and I say, well, let's look at this. I didn't get to go to Los Angeles uh in the late 60s to work for Capitol Records, and it pisses me off, and I blame my father. However, that's when Charlie Manson was around for killing people. So maybe it's good I didn't go, right? Yeah. Say, oh, I only didn't marry my second husband. And then I say, Whoa, then I wouldn't have the two daughters, the four grandchildren, and the great grandson I have. Okay. So I always do that to this day. I always do that. If I get into my, I should have, I wish I did that. Why didn't I meet my present husband? Well, I did meet him sooner, but why didn't I marry him sooner? Why was it meant to be? I had to wait this long, and now he has Parkinson's, and you know, but everything does have a reason. I don't think anything is just happens to happen. Like you said, this is a good story. Um, when I was a prayer minister, I went on an educational retreat, and this woman that was she's like terrific at uh praying with people, and she told a story. She was going home, and um, she passed a grocery store talking about apples, and she said to herself, I don't know. I I I think I should buy, I think I should stop and buy whatever it was. Let's say it's apples. So she goes into the grocery store. Now she had no plans on going there. She didn't even know why she wanted the apples, and she went in and she was standing next to a woman, and she was gonna buy her apples, and she realized this woman was crying. She was crying. So, like me, I'm the type of person, I'm gonna talk to you. I'm gonna say, Can I help you? Are you okay? You know, and I started conversation. So she started conversation, and this woman was going through, you know, some very horrible things, and she just broke down in the grocery store. And this prayer, not only was she a prayer minister, she was a teacher of prayer. Okay, happened to walk into my apples and ended up next to her and talked to her, and then said, Could I just say a little prayer with you? And she said, Oh, I love that. And she took her hand and she said a little prayer. I get the chills again when I tell that story. And then she got her apples went in the car. Hello, if that isn't a perfect example of random things, are not random, right? Yeah, I mean, I love that story, I love that story, and um anyway, getting back to you know, our soul origin and discovering our purpose and everything, and you said it already, it does affect how we relate to other people because this woman, like you said, who thinks she's holding people accountable, is really kind of judgmental and critical of other people, and she doesn't see it that way, you know. So there's something that has to, I think something has to happen for her to get it.

SPEAKER_00 28:22

Yeah, I also think she's in the loop where she is constantly attracting the same kind of people who are going to be doing things that she feels like they need to be accountable for and they're not going to be. So, like she is the energy is still out there. They get magnetized right to her. Yep, little moths to the light. Like, yeah, her glow is uh, I'm gonna try to make you accountable. And maybe the people are like, I want to be accountable, but then they get there and they hear it and they're like, no. And so, yeah, yep, it's a loop. And I can't even say, you know, maybe it's critical, maybe it's not, but it's like the loop is there and it's gonna keep happening until it's named, it's cleared, and something different happens, and see why she does it.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

So, do you think possibly that the things that she is focusing on are things that are wrong with her? I don't mean to say wrong, but part of her personality that she does.

SPEAKER_00 29:27

It very well could be, absolutely, yeah. Um, also things, yes, and maybe things that she has worked really hard on, you know, maybe thinking she hasn't been accountable in the past, and so she works really hard to do that, and now that's her standard, and it must be held to everybody else. Yeah, but she's constantly getting people in her life who aren't going to be accountable. She's not getting the people who work really well side by side with her, you know, yeah, like parallel to her, where she's like, ah, this person does what they say they're gonna do. Excellent. She gets all the people that don't do what they say they're gonna do.

SPEAKER_01 30:02

And yeah, so only and I've always attracted people that uh were needy, needed to be fixed, didn't know how to do things, would always ask me to help them and then not take my advice, which uh I love that, and uh that goes for ex-husbands, that goes for friends, that goes for family, and um I had to experience all of that, and it's only been recently that I am getting much better at saying no, the word no, and um in particular I was helping this person who was homeless, and whatever I would suggest, and she had like an angry vibe, angry. And whenever I would suggest something, like well, why don't you go to this church or this place where I know they do things or they help people find a place to stay? No, not me. Is that that won't apply to me? No, but no, that's not gonna work, you know, and she wouldn't even explore it. So after a few times, I said, I went to say something one day now. No, I'm not gonna say anything. What? What I said, no, I've decided not to give you advice unless you ask for it. Yeah, okay. Yeah, and so it started like that. So now, step by step, everything I suggested to her, she resisted for weeks, and then she would finally do it. Like when she lost her job in the first place, and I said, Well, go file for unemployment. Oh no, I I won't, I won't be eligible. But she decided in her head. So, well, I think you might be because they're gonna base it on your last job, not this one. You know, she didn't believe me. Weeks later, she goes, Oh, I'm gonna get an unemployment check now.

SPEAKER_00 32:07

You're like, huh, go figure.

SPEAKER_01 32:09

But you know, but I have to wait two weeks. And I'm thinking, well, if you listen to me, you'd have it already. So the last time, she, I mean, she uh I gave her a number to call. A number that would help help her find permanent housing and even a way to pay for it. And she said the butt word again, you know, that was her favorite word. And you know, she didn't call them. So she said to me, I'm gonna call them and I'm just gonna get like a robot or recording. Like she has she can tell the future, like she knows it's gonna happen before it happens. Maybe you will, but yeah, and I said, Okay, so when I hung up, I called the number myself, and I did not get a robot or recording, I got a person, and I said, I'm calling for someone else. And do you have any programs that address uh a homeless woman? Now she does have a job, she got a job, but she has nowhere to live. He said, Yes, we have two programs that work with women. Like, so I called her back and I said, Well, I called that number and they did answer, and I talked to a guy named Jordan, and he told me, you know, and even after doing all that, she was still like uh angry at me. She was always getting angry at me, and I'm trying to help her, you know. So I wrote her a text and I said, you know, you don't have many friends here, so maybe you should be nicer to the one that you have. Because she didn't, she has she has no friends here. She moved here from another state. It's like, don't be mean to me. But I mean, that's the that's the nature of some people that they will think, oh no, nobody's gonna help me. Victim. They want to be the victim. You've heard that before, right? Yeah, they want to stay in that victim role. Oh no, she's giving me a solution. Oh no, god forbid, I'm not the victim anymore. Anyway, so I'm good at um, I've been I'm getting so good at expressing those feelings, like saying you're disrespecting me, I'm trying to help you. You know, or before I would not have said that, but I'm I'm happy I'm getting more assertive. So another thing I want to talk to you about is fear. Because um when you're talking about soul-centered thinking, it seems so um deep, so profound, that it has an impact of causing a fear in someone that they don't want to go there. Do you relate to that?

SPEAKER_00 35:15

Yeah, I've seen it, yeah. Um it, you know, what what are we gonna uncover? What don't I want to know?

SPEAKER_01 35:23

Yeah. And reaction, I think, is rather to say, I don't believe in that stuff, or that stuff's bluey, you know, that's ridiculous. And really it's fear, you know, because what's it gonna hurt to try something? You know, why why not try it? You know, that kind of thing. But um, and fear that they might find out something they don't want to know.

SPEAKER_00 35:47

Yeah, I I usually don't get the I don't believe it, but I there's there can be it's like the pushback of not wanting to know. So I've had people, um, the people that end up working with me, they're already open, you know. We they know what they're getting into, and yeah, and I tell them up front, like most of the stuff that comes up are is things that we need to clear and get rid of. It's not, you know, you were a a wealthy, whatever that benevolent goddess in another life that helped everybody. You probably did something wrong, and we're we need to uncover it and let that go. But um, I've had people who say, Oh, yes, yes, I want to do a reading, and they tell me that for months and months and never book. But then I see the posts that they keep posting, you know, on social media, and it's all woe is me, and this person did this, and yes, it's like so much. Oh, everything is terrible. Why is everything terrible? I'm like, you know, we could look at that, but it's too scary to clear because like you're the thing you know is the thing that's comfortable, even though it's uncomfortable to be in, it's still what you know, and it's familiar, and you stay in it because what if you know something different and now you have to make a change? And change to be really scary.

SPEAKER_01 37:09

That analogy of women that stay in abusive marriages, part of that is they know what they're in, and uh, I mean, I had that situation where um, even though it was an abusive marriage, he was the father of my two children, and every time I would try to break free and go off on my own, um, he put obstacles in my way, and like a couple times he wore me down because I had no money, and um, I let him come back. And uh took me a while, like days, to realize it was a mistake. But they what's say it's it's better to be with the devil, you know, than the one you don't, something like that. The familiarity of it.

SPEAKER_00 38:00

There's there's uh there's the comfort in the known, even if it's not safe, even if it's not nice, it's like there's safety in yeah, this there's safety, you feel safe in this even though you're terrified and you're not safe because it's it's known because what would be out there? And you know, I I left an abusive relationship with two 14-month-olds. Yeah, I had twins, they were 14 months old, you know, and I left and I didn't have a job because the narcissistic thing, he whittled down. I had nobody left, he made sure I was isolated. That's what they do, and it could have been really terrifying to leave, to leave the house, to leave this person, but I had to, and you know, at the time it was just like I can't not do this. I have like there was just I knew I needed to do this. Um, and then my friends were like, You're the bravest person I know. Nothing about it felt brave. No, it felt terrifying. It felt like, what have I done? Did I not work hard enough? Did I break up the family? Did I just ruin these kids' lives? Like, um, turns out I didn't, but you know, there's definitely a dynamic when the other parent is goes completely silent and does doesn't talk to his kids for five years. Like then they're done that and there's that guilt there too. Maybe I should have stayed and tried harder, but you know, at the time I just knew we couldn't stay. Yeah. And yeah, no, my daughter is actually the soul group of the one I said that you know comes into these situations that are going to be hard. And when I read that much later in her life, and I'm like, oh my gosh. But then I was thinking about like, I think the hard situation that she was born into was that. And had we stayed, she probably would be in really awful relationships, and she would be, and you know, so she was born into what her soul said she was born into, but we got out, so she doesn't have to do that. So understanding, and again, not everybody is at this point in their life where they would even want to hear about this stuff, but why it is understanding your soul origin, reduce the fears you might be having in your present life, would you say because it it allows you to feel like some of those unknowns aren't so unknown. So yes, you know, I think that's part of it. I think there's just like this peace and clarity that can come with it. Um and like I said, like we like to categorize things, we like to understand them and have words to them and labels to them.

SPEAKER_03 40:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:55

And once you can get those labels, you're like, okay, you know, this X is Y.

SPEAKER_01 41:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:02

That's you know, okay, I get it. And it's not so scary.

SPEAKER_01 41:06

Yeah. And the first place a lot of us go is to blame ourselves and our own decisions and actions, like you were just saying, about am I doing the right thing? And I went through that too. And um for people that listening to this who don't know a lot about it, but they're they're intrigued by our conversation. Um, where should they begin?

SPEAKER_00 41:36

I think uh I mean, a great beginning is uh you can what I mean get a soul reading if you really want to get into it, just learn your origin.

SPEAKER_01 41:48

Someone asked me if you can do a soul reading online for them, and I said, Well, that's how she did me. I didn't go to where she lives in another state, and so Aaron does do them, and um, if you go to her website and get in contact with her, she's very reasonable, she's not extremely expensive or something that you know you would say, oh, that's too much money. Like you are, your your your price range is very conservative. I checked it. It is it is, it really is because you want to help people, and um when you know who you are at your core, that's when your purpose becomes clearer, and that's what happened for me. And um my journey becomes more meaningful because now I know I'm on a journey, you know, I didn't know that, I just thought I was born and I'm gonna live whatever life I'm gonna live, and things are gonna happen, and I have to deal with them. And um I just uh from your journey, uh how do I want to phrase this? For me, the question was who am I beneath everything I've been told to be? In other words, my parents. The first people in your life are your parents and they tell you who you are. They told you who you are. And so when did you realize that what they told you might not be the truth?

SPEAKER_00 43:45

Um, you know, I've always been kind of on my own path, which is part of the thing I go, oh, I wish I had just, you know, gotten a single job in my 20s and kept it and you know done the normal life that you're supposed to do the picket fence and all that and you know marry someone in your 20s and you stay with them forever.

unknown 44:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:06

And I didn't value things.

SPEAKER_00 44:08

I haven't stayed in the same job, you know. Yeah. Um even for 15 years, I didn't have a job. I was self-employed and you know doing a lot of things on my own, which is just a weird path for most of my family who will, you know, retire precisely from a job. Yeah. But um I think I think in it was probably my late 20s to be honest. Like I started thinking I there's something more. But I didn't really explore any of this kind of stuff until much later.

SPEAKER_01 44:44

Yeah. You know yeah after you're ready.

SPEAKER_00 44:46

So if you could tell our listeners like if we could leave them with one final thought what would that be um that I don't know it's know thyself.

SPEAKER_01 45:02

Know thyself.

SPEAKER_00 45:03

Yeah. But also like I think the most important thing here is that you are not always going to make the perfect choice. You're going to have choices. You're going to pick one. Something's going to happen. You're going to be like I wish I did something else. I have done like talking to my spirit guides about this like oh I made this terrible choice. Well I guess that just means I make bad choices. But no the thing is after each choice you're presented with another series of choices. So I think the biggest thing is it's not always what happened there because sometimes you know I could think well I shouldn't have walked down that alley and then this guy wouldn't have done this thing like so that's my fault for going in the alley no not at all you know but what is my responsibility is what I do with that afterwards.

SPEAKER_01 45:54

So the next not lock down the next dark alley.

SPEAKER_00 45:57

Not even that like what do I do with the feelings that I have now that this thing happened. Oh that yeah I can't blame myself for being there. I should have I should have I should have no let's see what let's take this moment right now what's my next choice going to be absolutely you know how am I going to feel about this so I would say take your choice keep doing the next choice yes and that's it just keep going and and be open be open that's a big thing.

SPEAKER_01 46:30

And I am going to um let you know how it goes with my uh starting a conversation with my spirit guys will know what the goes I'm excited about that. And because I had too much going on and I wouldn't be able to talk to them if I wanted to with the last few weeks of my life but now things are like quieting down and I can do that. And I'm going to put at the bottom of the show notes like how to get in touch with you how to schedule a reading you know and um see if we could help some more people find out you know who they really are and what their purpose is so until next time um everybody stay curious stay open and keep exploring the deeper questions of life so this was a a powerful show and thanks for joining us today and thank you Erin absolutely all right till next time